What I believe — and how it shapes every score, every pick, every page.

How I Actually Do This

I verify regulations. I check reviews — dozens of them, across platforms you've heard of and some you haven't. I dig through Reddit threads. I contact businesses directly. I talk to people who live there — locals, expats, travelers who just got back. If something matters to your safety or your experience, I want to hear it from someone who was standing there, not someone writing a press release.

Feedback from real people tells me more than anything a business puts on their website. That's why every score, every pick, and every word on this site is built from the ground up — not scraped from a database and called a day.

The World Has Layers

I'm a realist. The world is not black and white, and pretending it is doesn't help anyone. Even in the United States, crossing a state line can change the legal protections you carry with you. A city can be welcoming while its state legislature is hostile. A country can criminalize something on paper and look the other way in practice. None of that is simple, and I won't pretend it is.

That's why the Traven-Dex has five dimensions instead of one number. Legal climate, social vibe, things to do, community pulse, destination quality — they each tell a different part of the story. A place can score high in one and low in another, and that's honest. Flattening it all into "safe" or "unsafe" would be a lie.

And if you're a business that's welcoming in a country that doesn't recognize us — I thank you. Laws have a way of changing when tourism dollars are at work. Let's keep at it. You do your part, and my friends and I will do ours.

A Note to Businesses

If you're welcoming but you don't want to wave a rainbow flag — I respect that. Maybe it's your local laws. Maybe it's your cultural heritage. Maybe you just think treating all people well shouldn't require a banner. I agree.

I don't expect you to pass a yearly test, attend a seminar, or know the latest letter added to the acronym. Respecting other humans doesn't need an education or a certification. It needs intention. If your staff treats a same-sex couple checking in the same way they'd treat anyone else — warmly, professionally, without a second glance — you're already doing it right.

You're either on my list of Traven's Picks or you're not. And you can ask to opt out — that's okay too.

Recognition, Not Shame

I will recognize businesses for trying. I will not fault them publicly for failing. I don't do shame.

As many of my friends from the community say: we don't have emotions to waste — we used them up on ourselves. So if you send us feedback about a place that got it wrong, tell us what happened. We'll take it into account. We may reach out to the business to see if they're open to improving. But we won't post it. We won't publish it. We won't turn your bad experience into content.

The goal is more welcoming places, not fewer businesses willing to try.

Built for Everyone

One of the reasons I write about hidden experiences, local secrets, and unexpected angles is so your straight friends will find this interesting too — and use it to plan their next trip. Using Gayborhood to find the best places to eat, visit, or stay should feel like using any other travel app. Because it is one.

But here's something your straight friends may not fully get: the quiet weight of constantly editing yourself. Did that comment out you? Did that look from the front desk mean something? Is it safe to reach for their hand on this street, in this cab, in this lobby? It's not dramatic — it's just always there. A low hum you learn to live with. And when you land somewhere that hum finally stops — when you can fully exhale — the feeling isn't just relief. It's joy. That's what we're building toward.

Part of what we're doing here is normalizing. Normalizing the word "gay." Normalizing the word "queer." Normalizing the idea that a travel guide built by and for the LGBTQ+ community is just... a really good travel guide. When your straight coworker says "I found this place on Gayborhood" without hesitating, we've done our job.

Inclusion Is Not a Test

People have asked why I don't use an Inclusion Index in my scoring, or what the cutoff score is for Traven's Picks. There is none. It's not a score. It's a collected feeling.

If gender is a spectrum, so is inclusion. I don't buy into having to meet a minimum bar that goes up every year — knowing the latest terminology, having an all-gender bathroom on every floor, checking every box on a list someone else wrote. Those things are nice. They're not the point.

The point is how you make another human feel. And feedback from people who were actually there tells me more than any checklist ever could.